What if it’s true that a person can only have one perfect partner? What if that person was born on the other side of the globe? As recently as a couple of decades ago, the chances were that you’d never know they existed. The opportunity to meet new people online has made the lives of single people a great deal easier, but this opportunity needs to be used wisely.
We has collected the most popular recommendations from dating apps and website users.
1. Don’t rush things.
Don’t expect to immediately find your love and feel the desire to start a family. Love at the first message doesn’t exist. You need to have a real date (and more than one) to get to know each other.
But there’s a huge number of people on dating apps and websites. How do you choose someone to meet up with out of this multitude?
- Give preference to users whose profiles contain extensive information about their owners, whose appearance appeals to you, and whose hobbies also interest you. This is necessary to ensure that your first meeting doesn’t become your last one because you have nothing to talk about or because you find your date off-putting.
2. Choose the right photo.
Tinder sociologist Jessica Carbino revealed the kinds of photos that attract potential partners the most:
- Upload distinct and brightly colored photos with just you in them. An exception can be made for your favorite pet.
- It doesn’t pay to forget about makeup if you are a girl. The main thing is not to overdo it. And smile! Everyone appreciates openness and kindness.
- Don’t take overly explicit photos if you’re looking for something more serious than a one-night stand.
3. Fill your profile with interesting information.
The second most important step is filling in your profile. Take this task seriously: the more information about yourself and your hobbies you reveal, the higher the chance you’ll be contacted by someone who is interested in the same things. You will immediately have some common ground.
- A little trick from the Tinder sociologist: include some clues or questions in the text that will provide fodder for conversation. But don’t lie: write nothing but the truth about yourself.
4. Show initiative.
Write immediately. Don’t wait for your love interest to message you first. You have an aim: to meet an interesting person. So why lose time? Perhaps they’re awfully shy or it’s their first experience of online dating. And if they don’t reply, you can safely look for someone else. Don’t waste your time by waiting.
Try not to compare your former partners with your online dates, and don’t refuse to meet them just because they are “not your type.” Let’s be honest: it didn’t work out with someone who was “your type,” and that is why you are here. Perhaps your preferences are worth reconsidering.
- If your interactions never move on to a messenger, this may be a sign that the other party has too many contacts on the dating app or website where you met, and it’s just impossible to transfer them all.
- Some people don’t give their contact details until immediately before a real-life meeting, and a holdup at this stage means they have enough appointments right now.
- Some wait for the other person to suggest moving on to a messenger or exchanging phone numbers since they regard it as a meaningful step in the relationship.
5. Set up a real-life meeting as early as possible.
- Firstly, while you are delaying the moment of meeting, your prospective date may be invited by someone else.
- Secondly, if you converse exclusively online, you may end up having nothing to talk about during the first date since you have already discussed all the things you have in common and haven’t yet found new ones.
- Thirdly, there might be enough time for you to create an image that will have nothing in common with the real person.
If your socializing doesn’t go offline for too long even though you want it to, it’s better to find out the reason at once. Maybe your romantic interest is busy, sick, or doesn’t know what to start with. Or maybe they can’t carve out time for a date with you because there is someone else.
6. Estimate the risks.
Don’t dash headlong to the airport just because your chosen one dropped a hint that they wouldn’t mind you coming. You can find yourself in a very nasty situation in a foreign country with a broken heart and no money.
- If you’ve been sent tickets as a gift and you decide to risk it, plan your trip like you would plan a regular vacation so as not to be at the whim of a stranger.
- Look through your supposed date’s social network profiles before meeting. You have the right to know who you are going to see. And the right to turn them down if you discover a sham.
7. Don’t be afraid to ask questions.
- Find out everything you want to know so as not to deal with surprises like 5 children from 3 past marriages or a refusal to accept the fact that your own children desperately need a second parent, which was the reason you were looking for a partner in the first place.
- Make a tentative list of the most important questions, and try to ask them all on the first date.
Arguably the only question it’s best not to ask is how many rendezvous your date has had with other dating app or website users. You can’t predict his or her reaction to this question, and your date might not go as smoothly as you’d like it to.
8. Take it easy.
Don’t judge too harshly — you don’t owe anything to each other yet. Remember that you can’t always have perfect dates. Don’t take it too seriously, and don’t despair after the first failure. Remember that all people are different and that there’s a huge number of them online. But all of them are pursuing the same goal as you: love.
If you have something to share from your own experience of online dating, don’t hesitate to do so in the comments section!
Illustrated by Natalia Breeva for BrightSide.me